Writing

On the day I sit to start writing, I feel the chills. There is no one around me and a cup of tea is all I need right now. Do I really want to bring back memories of the past? Should I really summon all the ghosts, demons and angels that followed me throughout the years? Do I really believe anyone will read what I right and does that really matter?
Without asking my permission, my mind turns around and decides to take a walk back to my past. About 10 years ago I moved from Brazil to the US. I had no intentions, no plans, no goals and came to try a different life and to be close to my parents, who were living here already. The vivid memory of that huge line at Customs and Immigration is still there, scared people, people being yelled at and a few happy faces in between belonging to those happy tourists who saved money for months to come greet Mickey Mouse. After answering a few common questions such as "What are coming to the US for?", "Have you been here before?", "What were the reasons for your previous visits?", "Did you come alone?", "Are you married?", "What do you do in Brazil?" and a very out of place "You have been to Argentina many times, why?". After being questioned as a horrible person who wants to come to this country and who has visited Argentina too many times, I was given the standard six months tourist entrance. And that was all I needed.

To be continued...

Storm day

Have you ever had one of those days when you get desperate? When it seems like you'll never coma out of the storm? Today is one of those. And money, as always, money, is the reason. It's incredible how the idea of not having money can shake one to the core, especially if you have little ones that depend on you.
Being a divorced woman, I depend on alimony and child support. After all, during the past 7 years my main concern was to care for the family and not to have a career. And what did I get from all that selfless dedication, hours cleaning, caring for the kids, making sure everyone was taken care of? I got cheated on, yelled at, called names and told I wasn't worth it. Then, after all that, Florida law tells me I have no rights as a woman, that I have to go out there and find my way to care for myself and my children. Once more, I was told I wasn't worth it.
Now, can you blame women that don't want to get married? Women that don't want to have kids? Women that only want to take care of their career? At this point, of today I have no choice but to agree with them and to become a bitter, sad person who doesn't not believe in this world.
And as the storm continues, I see the eyes of my children and I remember I need strength. I need to be here for them. I can't give up. I need to find deep down in me all my powers to come up with a solution, if not for me, for them.
And hope the storm will pass. Soon.

Mood: Sad

Paty

Here today, gone tomorrow

Por alguma razão, as músicas dos Ramones sempre me dizem alguma coisa. O título acime é um exemplo. Para que nos matamos, brigamos por dinheiro, por trabalho, por um espaço na sociedade? Nos cansamos de tanto buscar o amor, a felicidade, o poder... Corremos, cansamos, corremos de novo e nem paramos para ver as pequenas belezas da vida. Não apreciamos o pôr-do-sol, nem o sorriso de uma criança, não dançamos, não sorrimos de verdade. No final, a vida passa rápido, o pentelho que está lá em cima continua rindo às nossas custas e nós perdemos a chance de simplesmente aproveitar. E nos achamos inteligentérrimos!


 Here today, gone tomorrow. Se você só tivesse até amanhã para viver, se preocuparia com o cara que te cortou no trânsito, com a divisão errada da herança, com o chefe mal humorado?

Pense nisso. Só temos hoje e devemos viver de acordo. O que você vai fazer hoje?

Hoje quero escrever em português, me sinto mais em casa. Aliás, estou em casa, sempre, já que me sinto bem comigo mesma ainda que tenha tomado tanta porrada no ano passado e continue tomando neste ano. Que vida é essa? Que ensina no tapa? Não tem a menor graça. Tô escutando um grilo cantando lá no meu quarto... era só o que faltava, dormir com grilo. Sozinha na cama, com grilo no andar debaixo! 
Mudando de assunto, qual é a do ser humano? Nunca está feliz, não pode ver ninguém feliz e faz questão de espalhar a infelicidade? Jura? É assim que se vive? Com tanta coisa boa nesse mundo, tanta gente boa, tanta coisa legal para fazer as pessoas se pegam em pequenos detalhes e gostam de transformá-los em pura novela mexicana. Precisa? Coisa chata! E preferem reclamar do que tomar uma atitude e mudar. Claro, porque mudar dá trabalho e reclamar é muito mais fácil! Deu para ver que eu tô irritada? Solidão e TPM, péssima combinação!
Até depois.

Have you ever, part II - great lyrics

Glitter In The Air lyrics
Songwriters: Mann, Billy; Moore, Alecia;Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don't care?

It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run
The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee, calling me sugar
You called me sugar

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight

Have you ever?

Have you ever met someone that made you feel alive? Someone that, without even knowing, have showed you how amazing life is? Nothing is impossible. And you don't need to search for the new to find something interesting when you can look differently into what you already have and make that interesting and new. Life is that. Beautiful. Unexpected. Friendly and filled with love where you least expect. So, where are you going next?

Love and life

I know, I know I said I'd be writing about yoga but love hasn't let me think about much else. So many people have tried to explain it and yet I feel that they're so far away from any truth! I know I feel it, I know I live with it, I have lots to share and I get disappointed if no one wants it. I know it makes me happy sometimes, very sad as well and still I can't live without. We hear and we practice the self love, love yourself first before you love others and that works ok, but it still doesn't take me anywhere in my first question. What is love? Do you have an idea? Let me know.

Somedays

Some days, I feel like a powerful warrior capable of conquering the world. Some days, like today, I feel like a girl who needs a prince to pick her up and hold her tight in his arms all night long.

Paulo Coelho rocks!

Paulo Coelho

90% of haters are begging for love. 10% just want a little attention // 90% del odio viene de gente que está rogando por amor. 10% viene de gente que quiere un poco de atención.

This is where I start.

On this past year, my life has change dramatically. And through the difficult times that change always brings I found some strength I didn't know I had. I found friends and support where I least imagined and I found myself. Yeah, I know that sounds a lot like the new movie "Eat, Pray and Love" and although I am far from being Julia Roberts, one of the things I've decided was that I needed to go back to writing. You see, I was a journalist in Brazil for over eight years before I moved to the US and now I dedicate myself to yoga so I think its only natural for me to start writing again, writing about our crazy life, love and, of course, yoga. In a few days I'll come back with some information on Yoga Nidra, a wonderful and powerful technique to fight stress. Stay in touch. Beijo,Paty